Young Adulthood and Pathways to Eternal Marriage

    In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints many doctrines are centered around the family unit. These doctrines found within the Church's teachings often create a culture where young adults are heavily encouraged to seriously date in order to get married and begin creating a family early in their adulthood years. However, in recent years the general shift of young adults in developing countries has been away from marriage and family life. Many young adults, inside and out of the church, often view dating, marriage, and children as somewhat of a negative. These polarizing views of marriage and family has created some new debate regarding when is the appropriate time to focus on marriage and starting a family. 

    The teaching of the Church are rather clear that starting a family and raising children in the gospel is one of the main focal points of the plan of salvation. Many factors have contributed to this detour away from marriage, especially at younger ages. Recent studies have shown an overall pessimism from young adults concerning the prospects of marriage. With consistently high divorce rates, many young adults today have grown up seeing few successful marriages in their childhood years. These experiences often shape a negative view of marriage, resulting in many young adults believing the statistical likelihood of a successful marriage to be rather low. An eroding standard concerning modern dating couples with this pessimism around marriage has led many young adults to put their time, money, effort, and other resources squarely focused on themselves with marriage becoming something that they will focus on in their later years when the time is more "right" and convenient. 

      Contrary to this new found culture concerning dating and marriage, the Church's doctrine teaches often the direct opposite of these new cultural beliefs. The restored gospel of Jesus Christ teaches that families are eternal and a necessary part of our existence and progression here in mortality. So the question often arises: How do young adults of the church avoid this new found pessimism concerning marriage, and date in a culture with eroding values and morals? Thankfully, the answer to this question is founded rooted in the teachings of Jesus Christ and modern-day prophets and apostles. Here I will attempt to lay out key points, or actions that young adults can do to firm their testimonies of the family unit and in relationship to the restored gospel, and illustrate proper dating habits to reach a goal of a loving eternal marriage. 

  • Increase one's personal testimony/understanding of marriage as divine institution. This can be done by reading The Family Proclamation, studying the words of modern day prophets and apostles, and reading one's patriarchal blessing. 
  • Abandon the belief that soulmates exist. Many young adults today strongly believe that a soulmate for them exists, an individual who is their other half and will "complete" them. This belief will often lead to unrealistic expectations concerning dating. It is important to note that the primary goal of dating the church is to find a significant other whose goals are to live the gospel and support their future spouse and children. Other differences of hobbies, interests, etc. can be overcome if this is the goal of both spouses in an eternal marriage. 
  • Follow the traditional outline to dating. Modern dating is centered around "hook-ups" and "hanging out". This approach to dating makes it difficult to truly get to know those of the opposite sex and develop true meaningful, romantic relationships. Focus on initiating and encouraging true dates, by planning ahead and pairing off. This time separate from others will enable an environment where individuals can truly get to know others of the opposite sex and better determine if they are a potential dating prospect. 
  • Use exclusive dating as a time period to determine whether to marry someone or not. The main key or purpose of exclusive dating should be to determine whether the other person is someone you want to marry and start a family with. Use this time of dating to truly determine if the person you are exclusively dating will help you to keep and make covenants, raise children in the gospel, and help you to continually progress. 
    While this list is not all encompassing, it can offer valuable advice and general outline to follow when pursuing the goal of an eternal marriage. The main focus and key is to always prioritize living the gospel of Jesus Christ and striving to date those that will help you in your efforts to do so. True and lasting happiness in marriage stems from living and practicing the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. 

Works Cited: 

Successful Marriages & Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives by A. Hawkins, D. Dollahite, & T. Draper.

Brigham Distributing, 1st Edition. 2011

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