Dating in the Year 2023

     Dating inside and outside of the church has become increasingly different than it was just ten years ago. The rise of social platforms, dating apps, and more virtual interactions has drastically changed the manner in which everyone, especially young adults communicate with one another. This shift has not left dating in the modern day go unaffected. Personally, I have had countless interactions with young adults who vent their frustrations concerning dating in the year 2023. Genuine connections appear to be harder to develop in an ever increasingly virtual world. Coupled with a erosion of the culture's morals and values, the prospect of finding an eternal companion appears to many young adults to be a steep, uphill climb. 

    So how do young adults navigate a dating culture and scene that often appear contrary to the teaching of the restored gospel? The first piece of advice I would give is to first recognize the things of the world that lie contrary to the teachings of the gospel. Aspects of modern dating that have become commonplace can be left at the door. Things such as NCMOs (noncommittal make-outs), the heavy emphasis on "hanging out", and an overall lack of commitment do not align with the foundational truths of the gospel concerning marriage. 

    It is often easier to say what "not to do". But equally important is what we "should be doing" when it comes to dating as young adults in the church. Perhaps the most important thing one can do in order to prepare for a future eternal marriage is to continually work on oneself. The foundation of the plan of salvation is rooted in eternal progression, which can only be accomplished through the atonement of Jesus Christ. It is important to understand that the goal of single adults dating in the church should be to strive to be as independently sufficient as possible. One should have a strong testimony, adequate emotional coping mechanisms, and the developments of useful life skills to support oneself and a future spouse/family. It can sadly be a pitfall for young adults to wait or delay personal growth and progression until a potential future spouse presents themselves. However, young adults should strive to be as competent of a person as they can individually. Thus when a potential spouse enters the picture they will not be looking for the other person to 'complete" them, but rather support and enhance the growth and progress they have already made and will continue to make with their support. 

    Current research and modern day revelation has made it clear that there are a few things that must be done when it comes to dating within the church. These things include: 

  • Looking past purely physical attraction. Look for compatibility and shared interests. An overfocus on physical chemistry can often lead to an unfulfilled marriage. 
  • DATE! In today's dating culture there is an overabundance of young adults spending large amounts of time hanging out. The brethren have made it clear this is not the way. President Oaks teaches a proper date will reach three qualifications. First, it is planned ahead, Second, it is paid for by the man. Third, it will provide the two individuals the ability to "pair off" and spend needed and necessary time alone with one another. 
  • Understand love is a process. It is okay if one does not find an eternal companion overnight, or does not immediately marry the first person they pursue in a romantical manner. Choosing who one will marry will be the single most important decision made during mortality. It is okay if this decision takes time and does not follow the timeline that one had envisioned. 
Works Cited: 

Successful Marriages & Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives by A. Hawkins, D. Dollahite, & T. Draper.

Brigham Distributing, 1st Edition. 2011

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